But love, as I learned over the years, was still very much a part of this season. It is alive in those of us that remain, love itself has so much more to give to those around us, to ourselves. Even amid tears, and that ache we all know well, love continues giving, unselfishly, and without reservation…
Read MoreBut when the ornaments with her name on them began to show up in the mail, we decided that we would get a tree after all. And we would hang them, and her stocking.
And I would capture this on video, for some reason.
Looking back, I think, perhaps, I needed some solid proof that this nightmare was actually happening.
This is a chain letter. It was started at the beginning of time by the first person whose baby died, when they met the second person whose baby died, and by sharing their grief and sorrow, both the sender and the recipient felt less alone.
i asked God for a sign --
something to assure me
that her spirit was not shoved
under the ground with her tiny body --
I think about how much I love this kid already, the nibling I’ve hoped for for so long, another baby in the family, and I think about how I have - how we all have - six months now. Six months of waiting. Six months of hoping. Six months of this buzzing that is excitement and anxiety. ‘Stay alive, baby,’ I can hear my heart urging as I tuck the kids in, brush my teeth, lay my own head down. ‘Stay alive, baby. Stay alive, baby.’
Read MoreBereaved parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion, and the other side of getting through this mess called grief.
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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.
Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.
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