After she died, all of the perfectionism and striving went right out the window. I permanently deleted all my social media accounts and never looked back. In a moment of rage, I threw all the parenting books right in the trashcan (I know that’s not very environmentally friendly, but recycling wasn’t going to satisfy my rage. I wanted those books incinerated on an industrial scale).
Read MoreBlock by block these 6 million minutes have piled up around me. Some I have deliberately moved and sorted and arranged, compiling them into something I can live with and in, a story I can tell about what happened to us and how we carried on. Some blocks stay strewn around, rubble, minutes I could do nothing with or in but cry and rage, when there was no sense to be made.
Read Moreshe was never staying long in this world –
it’s a kind of truth that only your bones can understand
but this brittle autumn air always chokes me with its taunting anticipation
This week’s post is ‘from the archives.’ Julia writes about positive thinking, something I’ve been thinking a lot about, again, since going through breast cancer treatments this fall. This post is angry, smart, so funny and just the kind of thing I needed to read. You can find the original post and comments here.
Read MoreBut what if we thought of both responsibility and resilience as collective, rather than individual?
What if we walked away from the individual memoir of the one sad woman, all alone in her shame?
What if we began to walk together, forming a collective chorus, louder and louder until our voices can’t be ignored?
Read MoreWhen my son Felix died at birth, I was sure that all milestones did too. For 37 weeks, we’d watched and felt Felix’s progress and growing strength in utero. Now, there would be none of the joyful and challenging ‘firsts’ we had experienced with our firstborn. Felix’s eyes would never open, his teeth would never burst through tender gum, and the silence of each night without his cries would be deafening.
Read MoreBereaved parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion, and the other side of getting through this mess called grief.
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Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.
Thanks to photographer Xin Li and to artist Stephanie Sicore for their respective illustrations and photos.
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