They Said: a trauma haiku

They Said: a trauma haiku

The recent outbreak of the novel coronavirus has been surreal and rattling, even to the most battle-hardened psyche. There's nothing like an invisible enemy to strip away any remaining shreds of your sense of security and ease. Wresting the words from an already trauma-addled brain to explain this in any coherent format is more than most of us can likely bear at this point in time.

And so, instead, I offer you a haiku:

Never fear, they said.
You and your baby? Low risk.
Definitely low.

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Of surf and seasons

Of surf and seasons

I lie in bed and watch in contented silence as the clock turns over to midnight, two cherished living children asleep in my arms, and a gaping wound just as big as ever but which curiously few can still see. The ocean spits me back out and I heave a sigh of relief. Another round of grief's fury, survived. Eight months to recover before it begins again anew.

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The meatbag

The meatbag

At first the bag is thin—only a membrane, really. You go home from the hospital clutching it in your bloodied hands, gasping at each stinging slice as the glass shifts and stabs with every pulse of your new sack-heart. The pain is astonishing in its intensity. It literally hurts to breathe. It hurts just to exist. And you wonder: how am I ever going to survive like this? How does anyone live with a tender heart filled with razors of glass?

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